Chapter the Ninth, on How the Crew Cleaned the Hull of the HMS Fort Awesome

And it happened that the crew of the HMS Fort Awesome hadst their renowned battle with the great sea-beast Arlax, of which songs are still sung the world over. The fine vessel didst spring a leak amidst the fray, and the Captain bade make to the nearest port post-haste for repairs.

And so the crew didst arrive at the Isle of Wight, and the HMS Fort Awesome wast lifted from the waters on a great sling, revealing a gash made by way of the great tentacle of Arlax. The Captain didst bid the best caulkers to mend yon hole, and work began anon.

And the crew didst look upon the naked hull of the vessel, and didst see 'twas covered in all manner of brine and sea-weeds, and there wast a thick casing of barnacles throughout. "Verily, we hath seen many voyages," Aaron Esser-Kahn spake. "Yea," chimeth Keith Lawler, "perhap we shouldst clean yon hull, for 'tis cased in filth." And the rest of the crew didst speak aye, and so made ready for the undertaking.

Captain Waltorious and Dan Kelly didst sail forth in Dan Kelly's sloop, which wast named Diane, for to procure scrubbing tools from port, whilst the rest of the crew made fast rigging so as to hang themselves over the rails, where they couldst begin scraping with hand tools. Tiffany, who wast on board, didst insist on helping, but as there wast not enough rigging she didst swab the decks instead, for which the crew wast most grateful.

When the Captain and Dan Kelly returned, they found the crew scraping the hull amidst a most formiddable cloud of dust. "We doth need some form of mask," Nate Sheetz didst shout, "for we doth run risk of catching yon Brine Lung!" "Verily, I shalt head ashore to procure some breathing masks," Joe Batchelor spake. And so Joe Batchelor took his skiff to shore, whilst the crew didst tie tunics over their faces in the meantime. Captain Waltorious and Dan Kelly joined in with hand tools whilst Keith Lawler operated yon automatic scraper, which the Captain and Dan Kelly hadst procured.

Ere long Joe Batchelor returned with yon masks, and the crew didst make good time. Passerby couldst hardly see the crew amidst all the brine dust, but when it didst clear some few hours later, they didst see the hullboards of the HMS Fort Awesome clean and polished. "Let us clean ourselves of this brine and sea-salt," CEO Craig Schwak cried, and the crew didst agree most wholeheartedly. And when 'twas done, the crew headed ashore for a feast in celebration.

Anon the caulkers didst finish repairing the hull, and the vessel didst look most fine as 'twas lowered back into the waters. And so, when 'twas provisioned again and all preparations hadst been made, the crew made ready to set sail once more into the open sea, heading west, where Arlax hadst lain in wait. For no vessel hadst ever passed through the waters the great beast guarded, and the brave crew wert once again heeding the call of the unknown in their search for knowledge upon the seas.