Chapter the Seventh, on How the Crew Met the Clan of Esser-Kahn

And so the HMS Fort Awesome didst make course for port once more, after many moons charting the Isles of Wraiths in the western seas. 'Twas to the delight of the crew to find they wouldst be dropping anchor in the Golden Bay, knownst by some as the Bay of the Sun, for folk of all ends of the world knoweth of the fine wines that art made there. And it so happened that Aaron Esser-Kahn's mother and sister wert traveling thither anon, and wouldst come to visit the ship, and the crew wast delighted to be able to present the fine vessel.

In two days, the HMS Fort Awesome arrived at the bay, and the crew didst gaze upon its green hills. They wasted not time in dropping anchor and sending the first skiffs to shore, in eagerness. Aaron Esser-Kahn didst meet his mother and sister that same day, to showeth them the ship, and they wert verily impressed. "But more thereafter!" Aaron Esser-Kahn cried. "Now we must needs taste some of the famed wines of the Golden Bay!" And so he and his clan didst set forth in his skiff.

Captain Waltorious hadst business restocking the vessel, but Keith Lawler, CEO Craig Schwak and Dan Kelly wert also eager to head ashore, for Keith Lawler hadst heard there couldst be found fine Hispanish cuisine on the eastern side of the Bay. And so they set forth in CEO Craig Schwak's small skiff, which wast named Shaniqua. "I have heard yon tavern doth have fine Hispanish vittles," Keith Lawler said, and didst point out the location on CEO Craig Schwak's map. “Truth,” CEO Craig Schwak replied. “Nay, prithee allow me to retract mine statement, and speak thusly: double truth.”

It wast not long before they set ashore, and foundeth the tavern readily enough. The food, however, didst not live up to the tales. "'Tis most certainly overpriced," Dan Kelly noted. "I hath verily eaten better," CEO Craig Schwak agreed. "Yea, I hath tasted Hispanish food far better than this in mine hometown," Keith Lawler spake. "Truly, 'tis disappointing." The three ventured outisde, whereupon they didst see a market, wherein merchants wert selling all manner of foodstuffs. "Look yon," CEO Craig Schwak spake, "there art many fine cheeses being sold!" And so the three didst examine the offerings, and CEO Craig Schwak and Keith Lawler spent a good sum, and brought many fine cheeses back to the vessel.

"Aaron Esser-Kahn must needs still be ashore," Dan Kelly noted, when they hadst returned. "Yea, and the Captain hast gone for provisions," Keith Lawler didst observe. "Verily, let us taste of these fine cheeses!" And so CEO Craig Schwak and Keith Lawler didst partake of the cheeses, and didst fine them most succulent. "Dost thou knoweth what wouldst go well with these cheeses?" CEO Craig Schwak asked. "A bottle of wine wouldst be perfect." And it so happened that Captain Waltorious hadst requested for several cases of wine to be brought aboard for the subsequent voyage, and Keith Lawler didst spy them. "Yonder, the Captain hast brought wines aboard!" Keith Lawler shouted. "We shouldst throw a wine and cheeses gala!" "Yea, but we hath spent much on yon cheeses, and we hath not much to share," CEO Craig Schwak spake. "We doth not need guests," Keith Lawler espoused, "we shalt enjoy yon wines and cheeses in our own company!" And so the two didst partake of the cheeses and wines.

When the Captain didst return with more provisions, he didst find Keith Lawler and CEO Craig Schwak in most high spirits. “We hath drunken of yon wines!” Keith Lawler cried, most mirthfully, as he didst stagger over the decks. “Yea, and our cheeses wert as music to our mouths!” CEO Craig Schwak called forth from where he layeth on the deckboards. “I desireth pie, but alas I hath partaken of too much spirits and canst not man the tiller of a skiff,” Keith Lawler lamented. “Pie!” CEO Craig Schwak didst cry, to no person in particular.

‘Twas at that moment that Aaron Esser–Kahn didst return with his kin. Keith Lawler didst shout most loudly about wines and cheeses, and CEO Craig Schwak wast rolling about on the decks, and occasionally wouldst cry, “bringeth me pie, thou scurvy knave!” Aaron Esser-Kahn’s kin wert most taken aback by this sight, and the Captain didst attempt to reassure them. Shortly thereafter Aaron Esser-Kahn and his kin didst depart once again for to seeketh supper ashore. “We wert most drunken and brazen in the presence of Aaron Esser-Kahn’s clan,” Keith spake, e’en as he wast still fulleth of grog. “We must needs make amends!” “Bringeth me pie!” CEO Craig Schwak didst cry from the deckboards.

And so Keith Lawler didst persuade Andrea Manzo to take him ashore in her skiff, and he didst procure many pies, and returned with them to the HMS Fort Awesome. Whence Aaron Esser-Kahn didst return with his kin, Keith Lawler didst offer them and all the crew slices of his pies, and they wert most appreciative. Aaron Esser-Kahn didst relate that they hadst been out tasting the fine wines of the bay themselves, and couldst sympathize with Keith Lawler and CEO Craig Schwak’s merriment. And so Aaron Esser-Kahn’s clan didst depart as friends, and wouldst oft visit the vessel whence it wast in port. Truly, they came to know the crew well, and anon the awkward circumstances of their meeting wast forgotten.