Chapter the Sixth, on the Adventure of Peking Wok

And so, after much sailing, the crew of the HMS Fort Awesome didst prepare to return to port. 'Twas welcome news, as the vessel hadst become low on rations, and the crew wast eager for new provisions. Captain Waltorious checked his charts, and foundeth that they couldst weigh anchor at a port not overly far from the Isle of Pasadena. When Aaron Esser-Kahn and Andrea Manzo heard this news, they didst resolve to set out to visit the Tribe of Caltech in Aaron Esser-Kahn's skiff. As it wast still a good distance to sail, they didst leave forthwith, whilst the Captain tended to the provisioning of the ship.

Keith Lawler and CEO Craig Schwak werst most excited to be at port once more, and they didst eagerly help with the provisioning and took the lay of the land. When they returned with the first loads of provisions CEO Craig Schwak couldst barely conceal his excitement. "My Captain, we hath spoken with the locals, and there be'est a farmer's market at this very port on the morrow; they selleth the finest meats in yon Bay! We must partake ere we weigh anchor again!" "Verily, that idea doth sound most grand," the Captain agreed. "When thou sally forth for a second load of provisions, be certain to obtain some of this meat, and we shalt verily feast!"

And so on the morrow Keith Lawler and CEO Craig Schwak didst set forth again for port in CEO Craig Schwak's skiff, which wast called Shaniqua. The Captain didst stay aboard the HMS Fort Awesome, for to assist in repairing the rigging. After some time, Keith Lawler and CEO Craig Schwak didst return, but they hadst been unable to find any meat. "We foundeth yon farmer's market," Keith Lawler spake, "and there wert many cheeses and fruits and vegetables, but they hadst no meat." This news wast most dissapointing to the Captain, for he hadst gotten quite hungry and wast looking forward to feasting. "What then shall we do?" the Captain asked. "CEO Craig Schwak and I shalt locate a place in port where we mayst dine," Keith Lawler replied. "A port this size must surely have a steakhouse." And so Keith Lawler and CEO Craig Schwak didst consult the Inter Net to locate yon steakhouse. In the meantime, Dan Kelly returned from his own sojourn to port, and Captain Waltorious asked if he wished to join them in their dining expedition. Dan Kelly didst take to the idea and agreed.

Ere long Keith Lawler returned to report that the steakhouses in port didst charge overly much for their fare. "We must needs find another establishment," he pronounced. And so the Captain and Keith Lawler didst look to their port guides, which hadst been written by the Wise Man Zagat, and containeth much knowledge of the known world. And Keith Lawler didst locate a promising tavern, Mama's Royal Cafe, and the crew didst decide to set out for it. And so the Captain, CEO Craig Schwak, Keith Lawler and Dan Kelly didst set for port in CEO Craig Schwak's skiff Shaniqua, and once in port didst take a carriage to the tavern.

'Twas the Captain who sighted it first, and CEO Craig Schwak, who hadst been driving the carriage, didst pull it to the side of the road and tethered it to a post. But when the crew didst approach yon tavern they didst see that it wast closed. "It appears they art only open for breakfast and lunch," Dan Kelly said. "What then shall we do?" CEO Craig Schwak didst ask. And Keith Lawler didst gaze accross the street, and spake, "Yon is a place called Peking Wok; shalt we eat there?" And the rest did murmer agreement, and so they crossed the street and entered the tavern.

There wert no other customers, and so the crew wast seated and served promptly, and while the food wast not the sumptuous steaks they hadst hoped for, they wert still most glad to eat it, for they hadst spent many weeks subsisting on hardtack on the open seas. After they hadst whetted their apetites a little, Dan Kelly spake: "Captain, tell me, why dost thou always order Chow Mein?" "In my home port this dish wast called Lo Mein, and it hath always been one of my favorites," the Captain said. "When I became a sailor, I found that it is served far and wide, and wouldst sample this dish in all the ports I passed through. I reckon I hath tasted it in more ports than I can count, now." "I didst not know that," Dan Kelly replied. "Where wast it best?" And the Captain thought on it, for he hadst verily eaten the dish in many places over the years. "To speak truly, I do not know if I could remember," the Captain said. "But this is actually quite good."

The crew left satisfied, for the portions had been quite ample and reasonably priced. After they hadst returned to the HMS Fort Awesome, the Captain thought on Dan Kelly's question, and began to recall some of the taverns in which he hadst eaten in younger days. The Captain decided to write these down, lest he forget them again, and soon he hadst quite a list and wast verily enjoying the process. And so the Captain began to keep a log of the ports in which he hadst eaten Chow Mein, an endeavor that kept him amused during the long hours at sea. And as those who art familiar with the story of the HMS Fort Awesome will know, this wast the beginning of Captain Waltorious' guide to Chow Mein throughout the world, which he didst call Mein Menu, and didst become moderately well known, though not as well known as the works of the Wise Man Zagat. And if one doth read the guide, one will see that the first entry describes a tavern called Peking Wok, where the Captain found the Chow Mein to be surprisingly good.